Something to celebrate…

It was Zach’s 19th birthday last Friday. I felt we all deserved to celebrate, the second half of the year has been hard work, battling against the authorities and then setting every thing up. Zach has taken to his new setting with aplomb and even had some Reiki healing (his first ever foray into this very relaxing therapy) on the morning of his birthday with Sarah Perrett who is a reiki master and also does amazing crystal massages, on top of these skills she is warm and friendly, calm and very smiley!

For anyone interested in getting in touch with Sarah for treatments themselves her contact details are 07519 178766.

She can also be contacted through Natural Health which is based at Old Cross in Hertford. Natural Health is run by Julie Goodwin, over the years the shop and centre has just got better and better due to her passion and vision. Sarah is one of any number of therapists who practice from the treatment rooms there. The shop also offers a huge choice of supplements, food and all things natural. It is an Aladdins Cave with staff who know the products very well. There is a branch of Natural Health in Welwyn Garden City which is now open 7 days a week.

Natural Health are contactable on 01992 550101 or Hertford@naturaltherapycentre.co.uk.

For years I found Zach’s birthday a very tricky day, it bought back memories of a traumatic birth and also of hopes and dreams which we had for our son before the reality of autism kicked in. That isn’t to say that I no longer have hopes and dreams as they are very much alive but they have changed, what I want for Zach in his life is for him to be loved, fulfilled, safe, happy and to reach his full potential and keep learning.

Presents are a funny one for someone with autism. Over the years Zach has grown to really enjoy opening presents but when he was young, his pile of carefully chosen and lovingly wrapped presents would often go unopened for weeks. I would try to cajole him into opening them, giving them a shake or lifting the corner but they were completely blanked and if anything my efforts made Zach ignore them all the more. Every birthday and Christmas I would wrack my brain for something he would like, and go to great lengths to get whatever caught my eye and although I knew it wasn’t a personal slight it was hard.

Zach went to a mainstream playgroup which was local to us, he was largely ignored by the other children as we were by the parents with the exception of one little girl called Molly. Molly befriended Zach, she lived and still lives (when she isn’t at uni) at the bottom of the street we live on. Molly really mothered Zach at playgroup, she took him under her wing and made sure he was okay. Sometimes Corrine and Molly would come round to see us or we would see them in the street and Molly would watch Zach and then say ‘I think that he wants….’ Molly had a heart of gold and was the only child to invite Zach to her birthday party of all the children in his class. Molly still always has a beautiful smile and friendly word for Zach when she sees him, it means a great deal.

As the years go by and we see other young people of Zach’s age gaining independence, excelling at sport, planning their future, with their first girlfriend, getting exam results, learning to drive and then going off to University it really hits home hard how none of this will happen for our son. Although for us these things aren’t easy we have to learn to cope with them (this can certainly be more difficult at some times than others) and congratulate our friends and neighbours children for their achievements while they do the same about Zach.

Last year for Zach’s 18th birthday we had a big party. We hired a lovely village hall and invited all the family and Zach’s favourite people. We had a brilliant DJ who we gave a list of music which would go down well with Zach and had a big bouncy castle outside.

Zach absolutely loved the evening, he knew that he was the star turn and that everyone had come to wish him a happy birthday and he relished in it! Maybe we should do that every year!

As we have with birthdays, we have also come to know our Christmas will not be what we first imagined when we had a son. When Zach was tiny we lived in West Sussex in a small village and every year the rotary club would make a sleigh for a Father Christmas to ride and go around the whole village seeing all the children.

I have always loved Christmas, seeing friends and family but it is a really magical time for children. All the glitter, anticipation and wishes and of course the magical man himself, Father Christmas. When I took Zach to see the villages Father Christmas I felt really emotional, thinking of all the magical things I could do for Zach and how special Christmas would be now we had a son.

You can only imagine just how hard those first Christmas’s were! One year as novices in the autism world  we decided to hide all Zach’s toys that he played with and loved in the boot of the car so that on Christmas morning he would surely play with his new toys……the toys didn’t stay in the boot long!

Christmas is though, possibly Zach’s favourite time of the year. He likes us having friends and family around, he likes the sound of laughter (yes! we only laugh at Christmas in our house, and that is only if we have company 🙂 ) and I like to think he likes the efforts I make with decorating the house. He attacks his present sack on Christmas morning and almost without exception ignores the expensive gifts and goes straight for the stocking fillers.

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Ignoring the expensive stuff and going straight for the stocking fillers!

 

 

Life isn’t always what we may have thought it would be, sometimes it is easier to accept this than others when we just yearn for some normality in our lives.What we all want is for our children and ourselves to be happy and I guess to live in some sort of peace. There is no point in inflicting norms on our children which they do not understand or relate to.

Zach’s birthday this year was a good one, we are happy that he is happy and I guess it is hard to ask for more than that. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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One thought on “Something to celebrate…

  1. Hi Emma I think I’ve read most of your instalments from this year so far. You and John are AMAZING! I’m sure you’ve been told this many times but you really are and I am sooooo pleased that The Zach Project is up and running and is working well for Zach so far. Zach is so lucky to have you both fighting his corner. I gave a wry smile when I read the bit about Zach’s birthday and giving him presents. I’ve dreaded Freya’s birthday every year for however long as it’s painful knowing that e.g. this year she is 11 years old but she isn’t, she’s about 3. I dread that question “what would Freya like?” etc etc, you know what I mean. The whole thing about waiting for Zach to open presents has been exactly the same with Freya, one year I had piled her birthday presents in the lounge and as she came down the stairs I was excitedly telling her it was her birthday and here were her presents and she completely freaked out and put her hands over her ears and said “no birthday, no birthday” etc. Anyway I’m really glad it was Zach’s birthday the other day and that you celebrated. It was Freya’s birthday at the end of July and on Saturday we went to Hartham for a picnic with both our families. We do it every year on the 1st date we can get everyone together (which is why it was Sat) and Freya loved seeing everyone and playing with a ball, going on her scooter etc. Hope to see you soon love Tricia xx

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